What does it all mean

As I spend my last full week in Santiago and prepare one bag to go to Peru on Saturday and the others to go back to the USA, I've been thinking about how easy it is to begin to questions one's decisions. I think when you're getting ready to close the door on something it's a lot easier to overlook the things that may have sent you packing in the first place...

Winter is coming. It's been beautiful and will reach 70 degrees today, but the cold and rain isn't too far behind...

Let's just say that some things about the institute that I work for are less than desirable and probably aren't going to change for awhile...

A lot of expats that you meet and get attached to are here temporarily, if I were to be the one to stay, they would be the ones leaving eventually.

As sad as I am about leaving, the bottom line is that although I'm ready to go home to see my family and friends and tie up some loose ends. I have some boxes to pack at the school that I left behind. I have some more boxes to pack at my townhouse that I'm turning over to someone else for another year...

I can thank my experience in Chile for giving me the tools to take each day at a time and worry about things as they come up.  My "one year ago" self would never have survived the premise that in a week I'll technically be homeless and unemployed. My "10 months later" self knows that I'm meant to move on from Chicago and go somewhere else, that it's time to leave Chile (at least for a few months), and that if my job opportunity back home doesn't pan out that it's because I'm meant to do something else.

Organized Chaos

This picture pretty much sums up my life right now.  I'm not used to living like this. I like structure.  Everything has a place...um, and it doesn't belong on the floor.  Isn't it hard to look around one's house and realize that everything that's here needs to go somewhere else? Currently, I'm spending more time with the people I love than I am on these piles and that's ok, because when the piles are gone the real chaos begins!

10 Random Thoughts

I'm not in Chile yet but I am starting to feel like I'm not yet really here anymore either.  I can't come up with anything concrete to write about pertaining to one topic so I guess I'll just try to formulate my thoughts into a list.

1. Kind of ironic that my first day of work in Chile will be exactly the same as it would have been had I kept my current teaching job. (Friday the 13th? Not sure how I feel about that either way)

2. I can't seem to stop eating avocados almost daily although they will still be a main staple in my diet very soon.

3. People are starting to ask me if I'm freaking out yet and I continue to say no.  When will I say yes?

4. It's been so hot here this summer that for the first time in my life I think I might be excited about putting on a sweater in a few weeks.

5. I spent 500 bucks on a kitty cardiology appointment today and when good news accompanies it it's amazing how you just don't really care how much it costs.

6. I borrowed a luggage scale from a friend and just weighed my first suitcase with a whole lot of stuff in it and I'm only at 26.5 pounds so far. Score.

7. My cell phone is now a piece of crap. It doesn't ring anymore and when half of my friends call it restarts itself and goes straight to voicemail.  I guess it's good practice for my future piece of crap Nokia.

8. At my house right now (where only one person is currently residing) there are 2 cars, 3 computers, 2 ipods, and 2 Kindles.  I can rationalize some of this, but seriously, why bother? Ridiculous.

9. Perfect timing that I get to see my whole family at my brother's wedding right before I leave.

10. I really hope that living in Chile sparks my interest in cooking some more.  I love foods that are good for me but love them so much more when someone else cooks them for me.  This is so not a part of my gene pool...not sure what happened.

Closing Up Shop

Last year at this time I was busy finishing my school year and beginning the organizational stages of my summer away in China.  It seemed like everything revolved around that trip.  Nope, can't do that, going to be in China then.  Sorry, won't be back from China until right before school starts.  This year I am kind of feeling the same way.  My usual 11 weeks of bliss are going to be packed into about 9 (cue the tears, I know) since I will be spending my last week in the U.S. in Boise for my brother's wedding and then I take off for Santiago the week before school would normally begin.  This compresses and intensifies the social calendar a bit.  No complaints on this end.  Cubs games, barbecues, extra yoga classes, Tuesday lunches with friends just because, none of it a bad thing.  I like to socialize.  I like to walk around Target for 2 hours on a Wednesday morning, just because.  This summer it will be interesting to see if I can that without actually buying anything since it's a little counterproductive to pack up most of your belongings and then hit up Super Target for more "just in case" things.  Kitchen towels? Don't need you.  Flip-Flops?  No way.  Certainly no more cute outdoor garden stuff either.  Adios.  This is a habit that I hope to break while living in Chile, shopping...just because.  I've already been practicing detachment to all of my "stuff" and I think it's a practice that would lead a lot of us out there to more fulfilled lives, but that is a topic for another day.

So as I pack away my house and my classroom on my final day of school, I wonder what the future has in store for me.  It hasn't really all sunk in yet, as my decision to leave next year is still a part of the future and not quite yet a reality of the present.  Should I be crying as I take down my posters and hug my students goodbye?  Should I have some sort of regret about giving up the familiarity of the last nine years?  Not yet.  I'm sure at some point in the next two months the weight of it all will finally catch up to me.  But until then, I will enjoy Target, Starbucks, Dairy Queen, Tacos el Norte, and all of the other comforts of home.